Self-Care for Moms: How to Make It Easy in 2023
Many of the women I work with come to me once their kids have left for college or even a bit later. Sometimes they’re struggling with health concerns; other times they’re just plain exhausted and feeling poorly. But so often, they share a familiar refrain:
They’ve put themselves last on their to-do lists, often for years on end. They were so busy taking care of kids, households, jobs, spouses, parents—literally everyone and everything else—that they forgot about, didn’t prioritize, or didn’t know how to fit in caring for their own wellbeing.
By the time they come to me for nutrition or Intuitive Eating support, they’re feeling the toll of years of self-neglect. They want to make a change. They’re ready to prioritize their health and get to feeling better, yet they often share that they’re not sure how to get started or what helpful self-care even looks like.
As a dietitian, an entrepreneur, a mom to 3 kids, a wife, and a daughter with lots of competing priorities... I understand how difficult it is for women, especially moms, to carve out time for self-care or to prioritize ourselves. And yet, I’m here to advocate for all of us to do exactly that. Starting today!
As trite as it may sound, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Your physical, mental, and emotional needs matter. Full stop. But also, your loved ones will benefit when do what you can to be as happy, healthy, and whole as you’re able to be at every stage of life.
Let’s jump in and look at how moms, or really anyone, can fit in and prioritize self-care more easily. I’m going to share more than 40 ideas for how you can practice meaningful self-care with as little as one, five, or 20 minutes and zero dollars!
Why self-care feels hard—and how to change that
I’m sorry to be blunt but our cultural narrative of self-care is wrong. The way that self-care is popularly portrayed, we get the idea that it’s selfish, superfluous, time-consuming, or requires oodles of disposable income. Too many women have gotten the message that their needs matter last, if at all.
So, let’s set the record straight. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. It’s you, taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs—what I like to call your Whole Health—each day.
I said it above, but it bears repeating. When you prioritize your own health and wellbeing, you’ll also be able to show up so much more effectively for all the people and responsibilities you care about. That’s not selfish. It’s an investment in your very worthy self with interest payouts that benefit both you and your loved ones!
If you need more convincing about self-care not being selfish, know also that when you commit to your own wellbeing, you model how to look after oneself and one’s body. You gift your kids the knowledge that they too can and deserve to take care of themselves throughout their lives just as wholeheartedly and lovingly as you tend to them now.
What is self-care, really?
When you hear the words self-care, you may think of a manicure, facial, or massage. And sure, those can be forms of self-care. But true self-care is much more elemental and fundamental than that.
Self-care is actually:
making sure you get enough to eat, consistently throughout the day
having a happy, healthy relationship with food and your body
choosing nourishing foods and enjoying all foods without guilt
moving your body as much as you can
getting adequate sleep
lowering your chronic stress levels and supporting your body’s stress response
making time for positive social interactions
allowing for rest and recharge
looking after your mental health
speaking to yourself with respect and kindness
When you view self-care as the fundamental ways you take care of yourself and your body, you can shift the narrative from selfish to essential.
Self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming or expensive
I want to acknowledge that the reality of self-care is obviously easier the more privileged and financially secure you are. I wish that weren’t true, but it is.
And while yes, it does take time and personal commitment, self-care doesn’t have to be time consuming or expensive. There are free and inexpensive ways you can care for yourself with just a few minutes here and there, as I’ll show you below.
Fitting in self-care one bite-sized choice at a time
To make self-care feel more accessible, I encourage you to think of it as small acts of promoting your health, looking after your wellbeing, or showing yourself love throughout your day.
Here are some simple—yet meaningful and impactful ways—you can do self-care in as little as one minute with as few as zero dollars.
One-Minute Self-Care Ideas:
Drink a glass of water
Say something nice to yourself
Take a few deep belly breaths
Stretch
Give someone a hug (research suggests hugging someone for 20 seconds can lower your blood pressure and heart rate and improve your mood)
Eat a cheese stick, some fruit, or a handful of heart-healthy nuts
Say no to something you don’t want on your plate
Put down your phone and look out the window
Step out into the sunshine
Forgive yourself for a mistake you’ve made or something you wish you’d done better
Make a doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off
Ask your child or partner to do a chore you typically do
5-15 Minute Self-Care Ideas:
Move your body (dance, walk, jump rope, do yoga, lift weights—literally move your body any way that feels good)
Make yourself a nourishing meal or snack
Call a friend
Put your feet up and rest
Read
Spend time outside
Meditate or pray
Journal
Chat up a stranger (positive social interactions can help you complete the stress cycle in your body)
Color, draw, sing, or do something else creative (creative expression also helps your body complete the stress cycle)
Prewash some fruit or chop up some veggies
Cuddle with a pet
20+ Minute Self-Care Ideas
Place a grocery order or go grocery shopping (having food on hand that you enjoy and feel good is a form of self-care!)
Make a gratitude list
Move your body
Do an outdoor activity
Go to bed at least 20 minutes early
Spend at least 20 minutes with no screens
Do some stretching before bed or upon waking
Make a meal or prepare a dish you can eat later in the week
Purchase a meal shortcut
Clear your closet of clothes that don’t fit
Read
Meet a friend for tea or lunch or a walk
Release muscle tension with a foam roller
Watch something that makes you laugh
Have a meaningful conversation with someone you’ve been missing
Write down some affirmations you need to hear
Make a menu for the week and jot down a grocery list
Write your body a thank you letter
A few final self-care tips
Choose the simplest thing you can do and start there. Notice how it feels, and hopefully, let those feel-good vibes propel you towards another small, simple, health-promoting choice.
I like to think of practicing self-care like stringing together a strand of pearls. You can thread simple acts of self-care together like pearls, one at a time throughout your days, weeks, and months. The more acts of self-care you string together, the more meaningful the impact will be on your overall health and wellbeing!